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Females are not expected to serve and MOST of the girls that do, only do so because they do not have a suitable read: If your GF is an attractive girl and still ended up on a mission then she is about as fanatical as they come and if she isn't already she will be slowly trying to convert you. So we took the kids camping. Honestly, I have given up on lds men as a single 25 year old.
In my experience, life-long member, many Mormons have difficulty thinking outside the box, and putting forth effort to inclue and love. I am married to an ER doc and agree that having your own life, being independent, and not going into the relationship with any preconceived notions is what makes it work for us. Some Mormon girls succumb to worldly laziness.